when i was depressed those “reasons not to kill yourself” lists never helped.. maybe they do for some people but for me they actually made me feel worse. it was like….here’s a reminder that there are all these things other people find joy in that you can’t. with a sprinkle of guilt because “your family/friends will miss you.”
what i needed to hear, and so what i’ll tell any of you reading this who are in the same situation, was: a lot of people recover from mental illness and go on to live full lives. it’s quite likely that with treatment, a time will come when you won’t want to die anymore and you’ll find joy in everyday life. yes, you. stay alive for that possibility.
“Don’t use your mental illness as an excuse” means “Change your behavior, apologize, and do better next time.”
“Don’t use your mental illness as an excuse” DOES NOT mean “Your symptoms are your fault, your disorder is not even an explanation, and you are a bad person if you behave less than neurotypical”
it’s totally possible to have healthy, meaningful relationships no matter your diagnosis, but that means taking responsibility for your actions, finding diverse support systems, and doing the work when you’re stable to make sure you and everyone who cares about you will be okay in a crisis. don’t perpetuate cycles of trauma. you have the power to build a healthier life and a healthier world.
“What hits really hard in moments like this is that really… nothing is forever. The loss of history, of art, of creation, is real and deeply tragic. But what’s really itching at the insides of my chest is watching something I thought was forever suddenly not exist.
“We know this, of course. We know in our brains that nothing lasts. But that doesn’t stop us from just going about our lives forgetting about that reality. And then we get hit in the face by it… sometimes individually, sometimes collectively.
"A lot of us are feeling this now together… though at the same time, many other people don’t have such a visceral tie to Notre Dame. Which is why I’m doing my best to not be very angry at the "it’s just a building” comments. (Though, honestly, if that’s how you feel, be quiet.)
“But Katherine also reminded me that Notre Dame is not one thing… and while nothing lasts, the story of human culture isn’t of building things that last forever, it’s changing, growing, progressing, remembering, and /rebuilding./
"She reminded me that Notre Dame is history, but so is today. We don’t get to be separate from history. And we are not the first people to see beautiful things destroyed. Indeed, we’re not the first to see much of Notre Dame Cathedral destroyed.
"Much of Notre Dame is nearly 1000 years old. Some of it is 50 years old. The spire was built 150 years ago. The Rose Window is (was) from the 1200s. It’s heartbreaking.
"But in a moment when I’m reminded of how fragile things are, I also want to be reminded of how much we have created and preserved… and how much we have rebuilt. So that feeling is in there with the bad ones. It’s not bigger than the bad ones, but it’s in there too.”
- Hank Green after talking with his wife Katherine about the tragic fire consuming Notre Dame
